It all began on the dreadful day we moved in, I was a beautiful puppy, full of spunk and raring to bring this world to its knee's with my brilliance ( ask my dad ), and then it happened, the DOG NEXT DOOR.
On the first day we met all he wanted to do was smell my beautifully perfumed body, which was okay by me as this commoner had probably never been this close to a Princess in all his dull and boring life, and who was I to deny my humble servant a meagre request. Then it happened, the bully next door could not accept that I, PRINCESS SKYE ( ask my dad ) was better than he was, and he barked abuse at me, in front of my family, and what's worse is that uncle Buddee was there, what was I to do, I could not hang my head and run, so I, PRINCESS SKYE fought back, and what a fearful battle it was, the bully retreated and the metal fence was pushed a further six inches into his land, and all I suffered was a slightly bent nose from the constant and brutal ramming of the fence trying to get at this commoner.
This argument went on for many a year, fourteen in fact, ( two human years ) but I was relentless, with the aid of my family I continued to make that bully retreat, and push that fence even further. During this dramatic period I noticed that age was catching up on my poor and frail mother "NATALIE TUNNY" aged 154 years old, ( 22 years in human terms ), as every time I started to argue my right as a PRINCESS ( ask my dad ) to the bully next door, she would shriek "SKYE" and try to back me up as every loving mother should do in these trying circumstances. She would throw things at the bully, keys, kongs, balls, anything she could get her hands on, as this bully next door could not accept me as the only member of ROYALTY in this state (ask my dad ). I do appreciate the support that my aging mother gives me. It's just that every time she takes careful aim at the bully, she seems to miss and nearly get me with the flying debris. So mum, if you are reading this, "Thank You" but in future please DON'T!
The fateful day then came, my mum and dad, as I thought knowing my potential, straightened up the fence and installed another one on the inside of my yard, a thought that I now regret as my parents had received inside information. Getting back to my story, ME the ROYAL PRINCESS OF ALL THINGS GOOD ( ask my dad ), was up to the challenge, to tear through the first fence, bend the only remaining fence and make that bully eat his barks of abuse. I waited and waited and waited, but that fearful commoner did not show his terrified and huge snout. It was a Sunday and my mother was supposed to take me to the training grounds to show my followers how to weave, but shock horror she only took my little brother NITRO, she must have known what was about to happen and left me behind to protect my poor broken father. I was sitting at the bottom of the steps protecting my father who was once again blowing smoke out of his mouth, when the bully showed his face, as I have said, I was up to the challenge my parents had put in place for me and I ATTACKED, and guess what, just as I hit the inner fence line I was hit by lightning, yes lightning, right on the nose, and the pain shot right through my body to my bladder, and I am afraid to say that I, SKYE the ROYAL PRINCESS, wet myself.
Realising that I had upset THOR the GOD of THUNDER that day, I went upstairs and hid behind the bed. I did as the GODS had asked and remained upstairs and only ventured outside when there was not a cloud in the sky, but my urge to get the bully back was strong, stronger than it ever was, and I was prepared to wait for the day to beat my parents challenge, and get this thorn out of my life once and for all.
Weeks later when I noticed that the sun was shining and there was not a cloud in the sky, there he was, at the fence, as poppas as hell, and barking abuse. The time was right, and I launched my attack, full of pride and knowing that I would succeed. I raced down the stairs and hit the inner fence at full pace, and guess what, it bloody happened again, out of no where, I was hit by lightning smack bang on the noggin, stricken by pain that you would not believe I wet myself again and ran into my fathers caring and loving arms, it was there that I realised that THOR the GOD of THUNDER did not live in the sky, but he bloody well lived next door. I had learnt a valuable lesson that day.
Alas, I can now say that THOR and myself live happily together, whenever he is in his yard, I respect his space and depart my yard into the security and comfort of indoors, to give THOR the GOD of all things that HURT the privacy and respect that all GODS deserve. I have only one regret or disappointment, in that my parents who had obviously discovered the true power of THOR, and placed an extra fence in my yard for safety, had neglected to inform me, their loving PRINCESS SKYE, that that brut of a dog next door, was actually the almighty THOR. As they have now aged way past the used by date I must forgive them for this painful slip of memory.
To all my friends who like to visit and use my spa bath, just remember THOR does not like anyone getting past that inner fence, and the wrath of THOR is painful.