Life: Blink and you will miss it!

Discipline

 

Imagine a river flowing in a land. Sometimes the river surges and sometimes it is calm.  Sometimes there are pools and dams.

 

Now what if the banks of the river are low.  If the river surges the water will break over the banks.  Any dams or pools downstream will not get water.

 

If there are no dams or pools, the river will flow erratically, surging when the water is high, and dry when there is no water.

 

If the banks of the river are positioned correctly then any surges will not break through, and dams and pools will fill and regulate the flow of the river.

 

The river is energy of life, and just like the dams and banks, discipline is needed to keep the energy in check, and direct it to where it is needed the most. When energy rages without direction it will loose its effectiveness.

 

So discipline is not only necessary it is also highly beneficial to any system that uses energy, including humans!

 

Often I see screaming kids whose parents have to give them what they want because they see that as a way to keep them quiet.  And what about all these kids with ADD (attention deficit disorder) that these kids go on medicine for. If the parents or guardians of these kids would discipline them and teach them that they cannot just get what they want, then they child will learn that and be able to direct their energy to where it will be better used.

 

Now I am not advocated or condoning physical, mental or emotional abuse.  By abusing a child or adult, you are showing them that their actions cause pain.  not that their energy is misdirected and can be better used.

 

For the sake of this example I am going to use an Adult and a child.  The child who is old enough to understand language and comprehend a situation and because it is faces a situation that is new. The adult because it has already faced this situation and knows and understands the outcomes.

 

The adult and child are sitting together in a room.  There is fire behind a grill in the room.  The child moves towards the hot grill.  here are some choices the adult might face:

 

1 - Explain to the child that if it touches the grill, then it will get burned because the grill is hot from the fire.  And if the child gets burned you will help it to get an ice pack, however the child will not be allowed out/watch TV etc for some time.

 

2 - Jump up, pull the child away from the grill and shout at it the kid not to touch the grill.

 

3 - Do nothing, let the child get burned and let the kid figure out for itself how to sort it out.

 

Possible outcomes:

 

1 - The child, understanding the consequences might or might not go ahead and touch the grill.  If it doesn't, no harm no foul.  If it does, the adult must follow through with the actions. 

 

This way the child learns that if it does not choose to accept the advice of the adult then there will be consequences that will not be good for it. Think of the patterns that will follow through this child for life.  Understanding actions have consequences and the responsibility lies with the child.

 

The adult also has responsibility and must understand the consequences of its actions too. Its responsibility lies with ensuring the child understands the action and the consequences.  It is a mutual understanding between the child and adult.

 

2 - The child learns that it will be protected from its own actions and that no harm will come to it.  It will not accept responsibility for its actions.  Think of this pattern.  Think of what will happen when there is no-one to be around to protect the child.  Will the child bare responsibility for its actions then?

 

Does the child understand that the adult is looking after its best interests?  Perhaps the child would feel constricted and blocked in its actions.

 

3 - The child understands it has actions and responsibilities.  It also sees that the adult will not help or advise the child. If it gets burned then it knows it will not get help, and will seek help on its own, perhaps not the best for itself.  Think of the patterns here.

 

The adult is not in the loop of responsibility and the child knows this and knows it will not get help. The child also knows the adult will not be there when it faces a situation it does not know. The child also will see the adult aware of its actions and not helping.

 

These are situations are fictitious and very very general, however they are there to prove some points.

 

The adult and child or good for both adults and children, as in our emotional aspects we have both inner children, and inner adults.

 

If we don't already have discipline, we need to let our inner adults and inner child learn that we have responsibility for all our actions.

 

Discipline can be in many forms, but first and foremost it is to understand ALL the consequences of our actions and take responsibility for them.  Then to choose the action that you know to be the best course and stick to it.

 

example:  You are a smoker.  You know that the smoking damages your body, and you CHOOSE to stop.  You understand the consequences of stopping, the cravings, and all the general issues.  You choose the method, whether cold turkey or patches or other.  You let the people around you know this is what you are going to do, and inform them of what it is you might experience.

 

You start your preferred method.  Every time you feel you need a smoke, you take some deep breaths, or have a tic tac or put a patch on.  YOU STICK TO IT!  That's discipline.  Sticking to the chosen method.

 

Things to help discipline:

 

Small things repetitively - Fractals.  If everyday you do gym for 30 minutes, in a year you will be buff. (practice practice practice!)

 

Understand your reasons, so if you feel you need to diverge off the path, you wont because you fully understand and appreciation the what's why's and how's.