As adults, we can choose the messages we accept or reject. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

Building high self acceptance is a process, not something you can develop overnight, yet every person has the capacity of high self acceptance. The question is, are you ready to make a commitment to increase your self acceptance?

Here are some procedures that might help:

Step One
Stop comparing yourself with other people. There will always be some people who have more than you, and some who have less. If you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many "opponents" you can't defeat.

Step Two
Stop putting yourself down. You can't develop high self acceptance if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities. Whether speaking about your appearances, your career, your relationships, your financial situation, or any other aspects of your life, avoid self-depreciating comments.

Step Three
Accept all compliments with "thank you." Have you ever received a compliment and replied, "Oh, it was nothing."? When you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself is that you are not worthy of praise. Respond to all compliments with a simple "Thank You."

Step Four
Use affirmations to enhance your self acceptance. On the back of a business card or small index card, write out a statement such as "I like and accept myself." or "I am valuable, lovable person and deserve the best in life."
Carry the card with you. Repeat the statement several times during the day, especially at night before going to bed and after getting up in the morning. Whenever you say the affirmation, allow yourself to experience positive feelings about your statement.

Step Five
Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape programs on self acceptance. Whatever material you allow to dominate your mind will eventually take root and affect your behavior. If you watch negative television programs or read newspaper reports of murders and business rip-offs, you will grow cynical and pessimistic. Similarly, if you read books or listen to programs that are positive in nature, you will take on these characteristics.

Step Six
Associate with positive, supportive people. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self acceptance is lowered. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about yourself. Seek out positive people. Place yourself  in the best possible environment in order to raise your self acceptance.

Step Seven
Make a list of your past successes. This doesn't necessarily have to consist of monumental accomplishments. It can include your "minor victories," like learning to skate, graduating from high school, receiving an award or promotion, reaching a personal goal, etc. Read this list often. While reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained each success.

Step Eight
Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Be generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive qualities. Again, it's important to review this list often. Most people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life isn't working out. Start focusing on your positive traits and you'll stand a much better chance of achieving what you wish to achieve.

Step Nine
Start giving more. I'm not talking about money. Rather, I mean that you must begin to give more of yourself to those around you. When you do things for others, you are making a positive contribution and you begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own self acceptance.

Step Ten
Get involved in work and activities you love. It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in work you despise. Self acceptance flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. Even if you can't explore alternative career options at the present time, you can still devote leisure time to hobbies and activities which you find stimulating and enjoyable.

Step Eleven
Be true to yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You'll never gain your own respect and feel good about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. If you're making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your self acceptance is lowered.

Step Twelve
Take action! You won't develop high self acceptance if you sit on the sidelines and back away from challenges. When you take action - regardless of the ensuing result - you'll feel better about yourself. When you fail to move forward because of fear and anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy - and you will undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self acceptance.

The "real you" is a magnificent, unique being with enormous potential and capacity for experiencing love of yourself and extending love to others. As your self acceptance grows, this "real you" emerges. You begin to take more risks and not be afraid of failure; you aren't as concerned with getting approval of others; your relationships are much more rewarding; you pursue activities that bring you joy and satisfaction; and you will make a positive contribution to the world. Most importantly, high self acceptance brings you peace of mind ... when you're alone, you truly appreciate the person you're with - yourself.

The Perfection that is the REAL YOU
You are a perfect creation with unlimited creative ability. You cannot be anything but the perfection of your Creator, nor can your creations be less than the same perfection. You are perfect, just as you are. But when you do not accept that perfection, you have not allowed the positive manifestation into the divine light source of All That Is. You have not allowed that completion, and so you struggle with you. You struggle with your thoughts; you struggle with your actions; you struggle with your deeds. And unless you can accept your divinity, your perfection, your beauty, unless you can do the same for all others, you'll always struggle, and you'll always search. You can do no other. It is the law.

To eliminate struggle in your life you must first allow your creations completion by accepting them as divine, for you are a divine being and cannot create in any other manner. Only as you accept your creations as divine can you cease the struggle and transform your creations into harmony in your life. Struggle results in disease, struggle results in unhappiness, and in broken relationships. Struggle will always deny you the right to enjoy your life.