Each person is Holy
Treat each person with respect, no matter what his place in the scheme of things appears to be, for each person is God. Each person is holy and deeply loved. Bring your words and your thoughts to focus on this fact. Each person is holy. Repeat this. Remember this. Each person is holy.

The Polarity Game
Each soul in this universe is playing the Polarity Integration Game in order to achieve spiritual evolution and eventual reunion with the Divine Creator-the Source-All That Is. Compassion is the goal of the game. Compassion is the integration point, the middle point of the two opposites. When the soul reaches true compassion, it feels acceptance for both sides, judging nothing as inherently good or bad. Achieving compassion or integration means that a soul sees the value in both the Light and the Dark, and chooses to have both in balanced portions, as part of itself.

Honour the role others play for your benefit
Look beyond the behavior of abusive people to the higher perspective. Remember that they are simply a soul playing a role for you. You are in the controversy to learn how not to allow them to take your energy by being abusive. They are in the role to learn that abusive behavior will not get their need for attention met. Therefore, they must find a more balanced way to attain the attention they need and deserve. Compassion is experienced only when all judgments have been released.

Honour the spirit within others
Instead of praising someone's clothes, mention that they have a nice smile. Mention the parts of them that are expressions of Spirit within and your words will be sweet to hear, bringing light to the countenance. If criticism is to be given, be certain that it is constructive and serves to build the person up. Seek only to help their spirit flourish. Then your words and actions will be those of love. Use these same guidelines when you speak of yourself as well. Bring love into all that you do for yourself and for others. For it is the love you have for the self within you that you can share. No other.

Happiness
When you seek happiness for yourself it will always elude you. When you seek happiness for others you will find it yourself.

Empowerment
The best way to empower yourself is to empower others. If it is not possible for you to look into the mirror and see the God within you, then look into the eyes of the one standing next to you. The light you see will be an accurate reflection of your own. Find ways of brightening the light you see in their eyes and your own light will become stronger than you thought possible.

Practice Forgiveness
(An excerpt from 'Journey Out of the Third Dimension' by Susanna Thorpe-Clark http://www.hotkey.net.au/~korton)  

The normal third dimensional mind-set says that life is something over which we have no control. But this is not correct, because every single event that happens to us is of our own making. Therefore, when something happens that appears unexpected, or to be the result of someone else's actions, we have to give it careful attention, because consciously or unconsciously, we actually create our reality one hundred percent.

Nothing happens arbitrarily or without a reason and everything is a result of our own thought patterns. When we cast blame on any other person for what occurs to us, it shows that we are in denial about this. But nobody does anything to us; we do it to ourselves. And the reason that all those sometimes dreadful and horrific events take place in life, is because they support the lessons we have come here to learn.

Truly, there is no such thing as an accident and no one is to blame for anything. Once we accept this principle, then forgiveness can take place. Only then can we look at all those accidental happenings and acknowledge that not only did we create them, they actually had something to teach us.

It is time to take the blame off those members of our Soul Family who have contributed to these lessons, and instead thank them and bless them for giving us the opportunity to learn. Without these experiences we would never know how it feels to be hurt and therefore, never understand the compassion which comes finally as a direct result.

It is often difficult to accept that being on the receiving end of hurtful or traumatic circumstances is our own fault, but the issues is not of who is to blame, but rather of what lesson can we learn from the event itself. Each of us descends into this third dimension to experience certain things, and we take the decision on what these will be before we are born. And as obtuse as it may appear to be, we quite often agree to undergo traumatic situations.

Collectively, we are here to evaluate and experience negativity. On a Soul level, we want to understand what the opposite of love and compassion is all about, so we agree to set up situations from which we can learn the difference. The problem however, is that most of us have gone through so many painful experiences that we now carry enormous loads of trauma in the memory cells of our body. Trauma which is added upon with each subsequent lifetime. This traumatic memory is what we subconsciously fear we will have to encounter if we go too deeply within, and that thought leads us to suppress, at great cost, these painful memories. Therefore, it is completely understandable that when it comes time to let them go, which means allowing these memories to come into consciousness, we are terrified to do so.

This is where practising forgiveness comes in. By forgiving not only ourselves for past unkind acts but also forgiving all those many members of our Soul Family who have belittled us, judged us, misunderstood us, abused and rejected us, we get free of the pain forever. When we forgive, the energy which was the pain is transmuted or transformed into compassion and love. These acts of forgiveness directly contribute to lifting our spirits and lightening the load of excess baggage accumulated over many lifetimes.

The Formula for Compassion . . .

Step One: Aspect
Q: “What is the aspect of myself this person is reflecting back to me?”
Try to see and understand the aspect of yourself that the other person is reflecting back to you. They are your mirror, reflecting an aspect of yourself through their behavior. This step calls for brutal self-honesty, but it's well worth the effort.
Sometimes, instead of reflecting an aspect of your behavior, they are reflecting something you judge. An example would be someone who steals from you. You may not be a thief, but you may be judging theft or people who are thieves.

Step Two: Gift
Q: “What is the gift this person is giving me by playing their role?”
Ask for help so you can see and understand the gift the other person is giving you by playing their role.

Step Three: Acceptance
Q: “Can I accept the role that this person has played, along with their actions, to help me learn this lesson?”
Acceptance is one of the four elements of unconditional love. Acceptance is part of compassion and is unconditional love in action. This also includes acceptance of who the person is, without judgment. You will find that if you are having a hard time with this step you can clear it by remembering they are a soul in a body, just like you, and you are helping each other with a lesson.

Step Four: Allowance
Q: “Can I allow myself to let go of my anger towards this person who played the role to help me learn the lesson?”
Allowance is also one of the four elements of unconditional love. Allowance is part of compassion and is unconditional love in action. This includes allowing the person to be who they are and to follow their chosen path, regardless of how you feel about it.
By the time you’ve reached this step, you’ll find it very easy to let go of anger towards the person, because you are feeling the gratitude and compassion that comes from seeing the pain they suffered in playing their role for you.
On another note: Allowance is easier to do when we let go of needing to control someone's behavior or choices for their own good. We tend to control people out of fear that their actions will hurt them/and or us. If we understand that everything has a value, then we can begin to release our need to control because we understand that there will be a value in each and every outcome.

Step Five: Release
Q: “Can I release this person from blame?”
This one is easy when you understand that you are not a victim. On the contrary, you are an active participant in a contract and lesson that you helped set up.
Taking responsibility for your part in the contract enables you to release the other person from blame for the role they played to help you learn the lesson you wanted to learn. You understand that just as you are not a victim, nor are they a villain. And remember, it is much harder to play the role of a villain than it is to play the role of a hero.
Releasing someone from blame is different to forgiving them. Forgiving someone is what we do when we feel they have sinned against us, as in being victimized. Release is the key element in the Formula. The release is created by your compassion for the other person.

Step Six: Kindness
Q: “Now that I have released this person, can I be kind to him/her, and if so, how can I do it and when will I do it?”
At this point you may be feeling the intensity of the release through the heart. The degree of the feeling differs according to the emotional intensity of the issue. The more emotionally charged the issue, the more intense the release.
By now you will be filled with gratitude and compassion after reaching this step and your only thought is how to make amends and thank the other person/s.
Now that you are feeling gratitude and compassion, by releasing the other person from blame and anger, you realize you can be kind to them. You are now ready for completion.

The two parts of Completion are:
a) How will you show your kindness, and
b) When you will do it?

The degree of the release is relative to the emotional intensity of the issue. The more emotionally charged the issue, the more intense the release.

You will find this step to be quite emotional. Higher understanding fills you with gratitude and compassion and your only thought is how to make amends and thank them. This is quite an empowering feeling.

Having released the other person from blame you can now be kind and loving toward them, functioning as you are from a level of gratitude and compassion . . . otherwise known as a state of Grace. It's not necessary for the other person to understand how you reached this state of grace, all you need do is thank them.  Let them know you have learnt a valuable lesson as a result of their interaction, and thank them for helping you to gain a better understanding of who and what you are.

Don't try to explain the above process of Transmutation. They have their own path to tread and may not yet be ready to understand your viewpoint. Those that are controlled the demands of the ego usually become defensive when higher truths are presented without invitation. A letter or phone call to the person thanking them for the lesson will suffice for the time being.

The energy that was the negative emotion is now transmuted and available for redistribution to the universe for other creative purposes. End of lesson!