|
|
|
|
The History of Medicine
2000 B.C. E. - Here, eat this root
1000 C.E. - That root is heathen. Here, say this
prayer.
1850 C.E. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink
this potion.
1940 C.E. - That potion is snake oil. Here,
swallow this pill.
1985 C.E. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take
this antibiotic.
2000 C.E. - That antibiotic doesn't work
anymore. Here, eat this root.
Sabat Slalom
Each contestant drinks three quarts of
wine in a smoke-filled room, then
weaves through a course marked by lounging Pagans to reach the bathroom.
High Chant
Participants attempt to chant in tune
with a High Priestess, who has pitched
the sound too high for any ordinary man or adult woman to emulate. The event is closed to eunuchs and children.
Altar Cloth Toss
When cloths are ignited by a
bumped candle, competitors must
snatch them up,
run up two flights of stairs, open a locked kitchen door and cast the cloth into a backyard. This is a relay event.
Maypole Erection
Teams of male athletes
encircle Maypoles lying on the
ground. At the starting
gun, they must simultaneously meditate on Aphrodite and achieve erection without use of hands or other external aids.
Jewelry Walk
Wearing _all_ the ritual
necklaces, rings,
bracelets, tiaras,
amulets,
talismans, torques, garters, brooches, and dream bags they own, contestants must walk 10 feet without toppling. Physician's certification of fitness required.
Great Rite Marathon
In a freshly plowed
and sown field, teams
perform the Rite until
the first
sprouts appear, achieving orgasm at that precise moment. Judging is based on originality, style, and endurance. Four divisions: Sapphic, Fairy Men's, Mixed, and Solitary.
What do you call 13
witches in a hot
tub?
a self-cleaning coven
What is a
California
Cauldron?
Four Pagans in a Hot tub
Where do witches
get their honey?
Blessed Bees!
How can you
tell when it's
midnight?
That's when the 9 o'clock ritual begins
What's the
difference
between a
prayer and
casting a
spell?
Spelling!
How many
Dianic
Wiccans
does it
take to
screw in a
lightbulb?
> Just one, and it's NOT FUNNY!!!
How many
Dianics
does it
take to
change a
light
bulb?
> (any large number here) -- One to change the light bulb, one to prepare the environmental impact statement, and the rest to do a self-criticism afterwords..
How
many
years
does
it
take a
Dianic
Wiccan
to
change
a
lightbulb?
> You can change it whenever you are empowered to do so.
How
many
years
does
it
take
a
Dianic
Wiccan
to
change
a
lightbulb?
> Not sure.....we'
How
many
Druids
does
it
take
to
change
a
lightbulb?
> 501. One to change the bulb and 500 to align the new stone.
How many Druids does it take to change a lightbulb?
> They don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in Stone Circles.
How many Druids does it take to change a lightbulb?
> one to hold the bulb and 12 to drink enough to make the room spin.
How many years does it take a Druid to change a lightbulb?
> 21, unless you're Irish.
How many Isians does it take to change a light bulb?
> Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to hadle publicity, and one to > write the newsletter.
How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb?
> Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us!
How many Fam-Trads does it take to change a light bulb?
> Ask your OWN grandmother!
How many Brit.Trad WItches does it take to change a light bulb?
> 13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.
How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> (in a low ominous tone) "Why do you want to know...initiate?
How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> It's a third degree secret.
How many years does it take a Gardnerian witch to change a light bulb?
> A year and A day in an Outer Grove, a year and a day at first level, a year and a day at second level, but only third levels change light bulbs.
How many Alexandrian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> "Lets go see how the Gardnerians do it!"
How many years does it take an Alexandrian witch to change a light bulb?
> That's the Maiden's Job. Maiden - Make it so.
How many Starhawk witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> (plaintevely) "There are starving villiages in Africa that don't even HAVE light bulbs..." |
|
~Merry Ye Meet and Merry Ye Part and Merry May Ye Meet Again~ Home | Calendar | Coveners | Coming Up... | Information | Book of Shadows | Writings | Photo Gallery | Branches
All information on this website is based on our understandings and
interpretations. All text and images are Copyright. |
