Stray Dogs, Play Dogs.
Viking
Games
Many and varied are the traditional games of the viking, but none more
enthusiastically played by the Stray Dogs than the ever-popular "Shake
Don For A Dollar". The rules are simple and few.
Firstly, find a Don. Any Don will do, but we have our own handy at all
times in case the urge comes upon us.
Secondly, secure your grip on your Don - most usual methods involve a bodily
lift over the shoulder, head facing downwards. This may be an obscure
reference to an old tribal god, but I'm not sure.
Thirdly, leap around like a crazed carabou, thusly shaking the Don. Something
usually happens - whether a small treasure is liberated from his immediate
person, or quantities of fermented vegetable products are liberated from
within his person. It's the not knowing that makes it such a wonderful
game.
Ancient
Rituals
The ancient vikings of Scandinavia and Denmark were a people
steeped in history, with a rich culture and mythology unlike any other
in the world.
It's quite possible that the call of the wild appeals to each of us in
our own special way - evoking the true viking spirit of our long-forgotten
ancestors, or it could be that some of us just really, really like the
leathery thrill of dead horse against our skin? It's hard to tell some
days.
Just
remember, only
curse the member of a neighbouring tribe by arranging your dead animal
token in his general direction if he is not the bringer of the mead.
Be really, REALLY certain about this, as a tribe of sober vikings
is neither desirable or pretty. Things could get nasty for you. Very quickly.
Fierce Creatures
Viking women are not to be trifled with if you value your life or your
testicles (in no particular order), and that's a fact which cannot be
disputed. It's widely known that although slow to anger, when the mood
takes them (and it seems to take them fairly often, it must be said) they
are a fearsome breed.
It's a little-known fact that Viking women often asserted themselves in
matters of domestic harmony with the aid of a few simple tools. Pictured
at left, our very own Collie Dog demonstrates the "Not Tonight Dear
I Have A Strung Bow" method of birth control, which has proved to
be effective in limiting the number of offspring brought to a tribe.
Personal
Adornment
It's the pride of every Viking man or woman to look their best at all
times. Men pride themselves on their colourful and manly attire worn with
silver neckrings and protective amulets and icons and women not only apply
the use of darkening the eyes to promote beauty, they are diligent in
the wearing of personal decoration - amber and glass beads, gold and silver
jewellery, ornate brooches and pins and silver neckrings. If that fails
to catch the eye of a would-be partner, there's always the old Show-Em-What-They're-Missing.
Subtle, but effective.
God-like
Adoration
There's no denying it- it's good to be the alpha male. When you're not
having your toes clipped, you have the added burden of being hand-fed
strawberries by the pack bitches.
To be quite frank, one need not even be the biggest or strongest to dominate
the pack. Being the sole possessor of the esky, shelter, map home and
car keys usually works. I'm pretty sure that's all there is to it.