Tripod logo
  1. Home
  2. Interests
  3. Tripod
  4. Tosswinkle

Enid Ahoy!

Scod: (Annoyed) Tosswinkle is having a moment BY HIMSELF!
   
Yon: Someday I will find her, it may not be today.
  I mean, if Enid turned up, right now,
  It would obviously be some sort of trap...
   
Scod: Enid ahoy!
Yon: You beauty!
   
  Aha! She's finally come for me! Gather the men! One-eyed Jack!
Scod: Yep!
Yon: Smelly Pete!
Scod: Yep!
Yon: Fucked Tom!
Scod: Ye... do I have to be called that?
Yon: Yes, you do have to be called that, now be quiet.
   
  I can't believe it, she's even more beautiful than I imagined. Look at her!
  (Drawing her outline in the air) Thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six!
Scod: ... hundred yards, Captain!
Yon: I like voluptuous.
Scod: Yes, well, can I just suggest that that may not be an actual woman, Captain. Perhaps that's a two hundred foot high wooden structure with eyes painted on! I can't believe you've falled in love with that... thing. It's clearly a trap, it's clearly not a woman at all but a wooden thing.
   
  (Pause)
   
Yon: You young people and your expectations of woman.
  How are you ever going to find your perfect partner when you have such a strict picture in your head of how she has to be? Oooh, "she mustn't be man-made and armed with batteries of cannons". "She mustn't have provisions to feed and shelter two hundred of the Queen's soldiers". Ho ho, and "she mustn't be a trap designed to send me to my doom" - it's like you've got some sort of checklist!
  Just listen to yourself! I know it's me saying the words... but, I'm imagining that's what's in your head. You are so superficial. Now, you can keep rattling on about what a woman can and can't be, but when you reach my age, you'll realise that your priorities change, eh?