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Here's Wally
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Scod:
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All right, so the topics were...
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Yon:
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Okay, the following: beauty pageants...
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Scod:
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Beauty pageants...
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Yon:
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Lesbian midgets...
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(Loud cheer from part of the audience)
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Gatesy:
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Ooh, we've got some lesbian midget fans!
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Yon:
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The Hokey Pokey - a well-known dance. "Where's Wally", and electrolysis. And a ska sort of style.
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Scod:
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Yeah... which... ahh... it's very authentic.
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Gatesy:
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So thanks very much for sticking around, we really appreciate it.
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(Scod starts playing some boppy chords on the guitar)
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Gatesy:
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That's ska... that's pretty ska-y.
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Scod:
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That's sort of ska.
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Gatesy:
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That's kinda ska.
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Scod:
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You know!
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Gatesy:
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I gotta dance, and that.
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Scod:
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What do you people want?
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Gatesy:
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Ahh... fuck ya!
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Tripod:
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Sometimes I feel like nobody notices me,
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Lost in a crowd, and shouting out loud, "Come find me".
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I don't want to come across bitter and dramatic,
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But every crowd I'm lost in seems so thematic.
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It's always engineers or elephants or rodeos or space-themed idgits,
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I would have thought I'd stood out in a crowd of lesbian midgets.
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Yon:
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It's always "Where...
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Scod:
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Where...
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Gatesy:
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Where...
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Tripod:
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Where's Wally?"
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Yon:
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I just can't bear...
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Scod:
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"Where...
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Gatesy:
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Where...
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Tripod:
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Where's Wally?"
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But it's not fair,
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'Cause I'm right there,
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And you just stare.
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One time in my life I'd like to hear,
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Scod:
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"Here's Wally!"
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Tripod:
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Everybody says my look is quite distinctive,
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Picking me out in a crowd should be instinctive.
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My frustration, it is never-ending,
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Wearing all this red and white and still I blend in.
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Who would ever have imagined,
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Scod:
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That I'd be dressed the same as everyone at a...
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Beauty Pageant?
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Gatesy:
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Bloody models!
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Scod:
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Yeah, wearing beanies!
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Gatesy:
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And scarves!
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Yon:
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Bloody hell!
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It's always "Where...
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Scod:
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Where...
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Gatesy:
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Where...
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Tripod:
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Where's Wally?"
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Yon:
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I just can't bear...
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Scod:
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"Where...
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Gatesy:
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Where..
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Tripod:
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Where's Wally?"
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But it's not fair,
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'Cause I'm right there,
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And you just stare.
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One time in my life I'd like to hear,
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Scod:
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"Here's Wally!"
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Gatesy:
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Who's that guy?
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Scod:
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That's Wally!
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Gatesy:
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He's the bomb, dude!
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Scod:
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I love that guy!
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Gatesy:
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I want to dance with that dude!
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Scod:
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Man, as soon as he walks into a room you just can't help but notice!
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Gatesy:
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All the girls love him!
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Scod:
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Yeah, let's all line up and have a dance with him.
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Gatesy:
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Yeah, what sort of dance does he dance?
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Scod:
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Well, he only knows one dance...
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Gatesy:
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What's that dance?
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(Pause)
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Scod:
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The cha-cha!
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Gatesy:
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Ahhh...
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Scod:
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(To audience) You thought I was going to say "Hokey Pokey"!
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Yon:
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That topic is now officially covered.
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Gatesy:
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Sometimes I dream of a place where I could fly to,
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Yon:
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I'm sick and tired of everyone dressing like I do.
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Scod:
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What's the point of us being Wally when everyone out-Wallys us?
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Tripod:
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Maybe I should get some new clothes, bulk up, get a tan, lose the glasses, neaten up the bikini line by means of electrolysis...
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Yon:
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And they'll say, "There...
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Scod:
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There...
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Gatesy:
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There...
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Tripod:
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There's Wally!"
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Scod:
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He's got no hair!
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Gatesy:
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"But there...
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Yon:
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There...
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Tripod:
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There's Wally!"
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Yon:
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And they'll say "There, there's Wally!"
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Ba-dup-ba-dup ba ba...
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Ba-dup-ba-dup ba bup da bup...
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Yon:
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Yes, they'll say "There, there's Wally!"
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Ba-dup-ba-dup ba ba...
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Ba-dup-ba-dup ba bup da bup...
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Yon:
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Yes, they'll say "There, there, there, there's Wally!"
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Ba-dup-ba-dup ba ba...
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Ba-dup-ba-dup ba bup da bup...
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Yon:
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Yes, they'll say "There, there, there, there"...
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Yon:
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Here's Wally!
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