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Open Slather Lyrics

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01 - Mucus
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03 - Love Song
04 - Second Drawer Down
05 - Stalk
06 - Cuckold
07 - Ikea
08 - A Shandy Too Far
09 - I Will Be There
10 - Bonus Track Part 1
11 - Bonus Track Part 2
12 - I Hate Your Family (Censored)




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Bonus Track Part 2

   
Yon: Before we finish, though, we'd like to give you a little...
   
Audience member: (Shouts something unintelligible)
   
Yon: Pardon?
Gatesy: Did you just say "head job"? Before we go - head job!
Scod: Is that an offer, sir?
Gatesy: Come on, man! Crazy horses up the road, mad man!
Yon: It also helps if you pick a gap when you talk, then we can hear what you say the first time and respond in some humourous or satirical way.
   
Scod: Comr on, say something else. You know what you don't actually realise is that Yonny went to "Heckle Comeback College".
Gatesy: Did anyone know that?
Scod: He's as quick as you like, old Yonny...
Gatesy: He's a gun...
Scod: You don't know what you're getting yourself in for...
Gatesy: Come on, Mr Headjob man...
Scod: Come on...
Gatesy: Give him a heckle, quick!
Scod: Come on, quick, quick!
Yon: Let's have it.
   
  (Silence)
   
Yon: Come on!
Scod: He's popped down into his little hole! You know, they burrow under pubs and just pop up and say random words and then just move on.
Gatesy: I've heard about them!
Scod: Yeah!
Yon: They've got a whole network extending all the way to the Town Hall.
Scod: There's one in the Builders' Arms, one at the Espy...
Gatesy: I thought we brought in a species of rabbit to get rid of them... no? We didn't?
Scod: No...
   
Gatesy: Will you say something? Maybe it wasn't so rude, maybe he said "hand job".
Scod: And he's a bit embarassed, you know, at having been misquoted.
Gatesy: Will you just give him a heckle and he'll do it! Come on, it's the final show!
Scod: Come on, this'll be good!
   
Audience member: Show us your tits!
   
Scod: Show us your tits!
Gatesy: All right! You're in for it!
Yon: This is gonna be good!
Scod: (Laughing) Awwww... I feel a bit sorry for you, mate!
Gatesy: Come on, Yon!
   
Yon: (Laughing) You just watch what's gonna happen...
Scod: (To audience member) You're fucked!
   
Yon: Show us your tits... one at a time...
   
  (And for those of us who weren't there, what actually happened past this point is left entirely to speculation!)

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