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Love Song
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Download the mp3 of this song from the Chaos Music website.
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Scod:
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It's complicated, you know, love... I don't know, as a bloke, I've had trouble in my life. You wouldn't know it to look at me...
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Yon:
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How was it, as a woman? You had more luck?
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Scod:
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Nah... too craggy...
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Yon:
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I can see that...
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Scod:
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You know, it's complicated, fellas, love and relationships. It's difficult, especially, you know, in the area of just expressing yourself to people. As a bloke, it can very hard in a relationship to say what you really mean.
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Tripod:
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Ooooooohhh....
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Ooooooohhh....
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(They go to sing but turn bashfully away from the microphones)
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Tripod:
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Words can't express what you mean to me, so:
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BLEEAAAH! POP! HELELELELELLELE!
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Baby, it's hard for me to say these things, but:
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Fup-um-wop-um-dip-um-whappa-di-ssssshhh!
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Ahhh... ooooh... owww...
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Wha-bup-a-loo-bup-a-wha-bam DING DING DING DING DING...
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Ch-ch-frrr.... heh heh heh heh heh heh heh AARRGGHHHH!
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Woooh woooh, woooh wooooh...
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Woooh, woooh.
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Wah hoo hoo, POP, pidl-pidl-pidl-pidl, HONK HONK...
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Baby, it might be painful for you to hear this, but:
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GAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Ooooooohhh....
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Yon:
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Well, we have come a long way, although it still seems men are being accused of not being able to expess themselves.
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Ooooooohhh....
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Scod:
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Well, I don't think that's true, do you fellas?
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(Pause)
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Guy in audience:
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No!
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Scod:
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One guy...
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Gatesy:
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Up the front....
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Scod:
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Bravo. You haven't been bloody gutsy enough to speak your mind, fellas, but you've been organised enough to nominate a speaker. So, you know, I guess that's something.
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Gatesy:
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Onya boys...
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Scod:
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Bravo...
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Yon and Gatesy:
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Ooooooohhh....
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Scod:
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Now, here's your chance, boys, to prove once and for all that you are, in fact, perfectly capable of "expessing" yourself.
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Yon and Gatesy:
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Ooooooohhh....
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Yon and Scod:
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Ooooooohhh....
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Gatesy:
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What we'd like all the guys here to do now is to turn now to that special someone...
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Yon and Scod:
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Ooooooohhh....
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Gatesy:
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Turn to your girlfriend, your wife... the empty seat next you... and say this one, simple thing.
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YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! YAAAA-AAAAAHHHHHH!
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(Pause)
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Gatesy:
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Good on ya!
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Scod:
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Well done!
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Gatesy:
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Yeah, stick together...
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Scod:
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Good one, guys...
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Yon:
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How about that?
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Scod:
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Aww, you're not prepared to get in touch with your inner lawnmower after all.
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Ooooooohhh....
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Yon:
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Okay girls, well, now it's your turn. You obviously have... well... no competition.
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Ooooooohhh....
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Yon:
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Let's see how you go. I want all the ladies in the room to turn to the person sitting or standing next to them and say the following:
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"I'm leaving you for the guy in the green!"
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Tripod:
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Words can't express what you mean to me...
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(Large female audience cheer)
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Gatesy:
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Awwww... thank you!
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Scod:
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Look at them! Eh?
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Gatesy:
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Lovely! Wanna take you all home and put baby oil on you and... play "Hungry Hungry Hippos"!
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