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Oh George
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(Many thanks to Hotdog Man for these lyrics).
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Gatesy:
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Oh George, why did you do it?
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The first two were great, then you blew it.
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Oh George, if you're the eternal kid,
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Why did the Jedi have to return
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The way that he did?
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Number one was a masterful piece of art,
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And the world instantly took it to heart.
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Perfectly paced, it had style, it had grace.
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The effects were used in their appropriate place.
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With Empire you could have lost the plot
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As most sequels do, but you did not.
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You showed some control, made a movie with soul.
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Forgive us, we thought you were on a roll.
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Tripod:
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Oh George, why did you do it?
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The first two were great, then you blew it.
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Oh George, if you're the eternal kid,
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Why did the Jedi have to return
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The way that he did?
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Yon and Scod:
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Oooh...
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Gatesy:
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The third one, sadly, it couldn't compare,
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Swapping mystery and romance with teddy bears.
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Blew all the secrets right out of the water,
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And traded poor father for a son and a daughter.
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The scoundrel turned instantly to a suck.
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From coma to general, and now Leia's... bonk.
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Luke's personality vanished for good,
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And sexually he would have grabbed what he could.
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Tripod:
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Oh George, why did you do it?
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The first two were great, then you blew it.
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Oh George, if you're the eternal kid,
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Why did the Jedi have to return
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The way that he did?
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Yon and Scod:
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Oooh...
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Gatesy:
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As I await the next trilogy,
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I sit here and wonder if I will see
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A six hour story condensed into two
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And a script that's so shit,
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It would make a dog spew.
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Or...
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Tripod:
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Are we to see the rebirth of what was,
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A fantastic universe spoiled because,
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A producer who must have just simply lost heart,
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And allowed the production to take over art?
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Oh George, why did you do it?
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The first two were great, then you blew it.
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Oh George, if you're the eternal kid,
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Why did the Jedi have to return
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The way that he did?
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