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The Gas Man Cometh
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Flanders:
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This song is a ballad of unending domestic upheaval. I'm sure you've all had something of the same experience. It's called "The Gas Man Cometh".
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Both:
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'Twas on the Monday morning,
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The gas man came to call.
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The gas tap wouldn't turn,
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I wasn't getting gas at all.
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He tore out all the skirting boards,
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To try and find the main.
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And I had to call a carpenter,
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To put them back again!
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Oh, it all makes work,
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For the working man to do.
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'Twas on the Tuesday morning,
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The carpenter came round.
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He hammered and he chiseled,
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And he said,
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Flanders:
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"Look what I've found!
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Flanders:
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Your joists are full of dry rot,
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But I'll put them all to rights."
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Swann:
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Then he nailed right through a cable,
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Flanders:
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(Pop!)
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Both:
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And out went all the lights!
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Oh, it all makes work,
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For the working man to do.
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Flanders:
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'Twas on a Wednesday morning,
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The electrician came.
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He called me, "Mr. Sanderson",
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Which isn't quite me name.
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He couldn't reach the fuse box,
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Without standing on the bin.
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Both:
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And his foot went through a window,
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So I called the glazier in!
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Oh, it all makes work,
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For the working man to do.
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Swann:
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'Twas on the Thursday morning,
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The glazier came round.
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With his blowtorch and his putty,
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And his merry glazier song.
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He put another pane in,
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He took no time at all.
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Both:
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But I had to get a painter in,
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To come and paint the wall!
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Oh, it all makes work,
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For the working man to do.
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'Twas on a Friday morning,
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The painter made a start.
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Flanders:
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With undercoats,
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Swann:
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And overcoats,
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Both:
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He painted every part.
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Every nook and every cranny,
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But I found when he was gone.
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He'd painted over the gas tap,
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And I couldn't turn it on!
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Oh, it all makes work,
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For the working man to do.
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On Saturday and Sunday,
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They do no work at all.
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So it was on the Monday morning,
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That the gas man came to call!
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