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Too Many Cookers
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Flanders:
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Too many cookers:
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Both:
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When we had an old-fashioned kitchen,
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Cooking was a slow but easy-going job.
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A place to talk, a place to sit and stich in,
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While we kept half an eye on the kettle on the hob.
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Cooks went the way of the dinosaur,
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We struggled on alone.
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Then science provided the answer,
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Freed the British housewife,
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Gave her a life of her own.
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A kitchen on the modern plan may be a fancy looker,
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But we've jumped out of the frying pan into the pressure cooker.
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We have every sort of gadget now for every sort of chore,
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But it's much more work and worry than it ever was before.
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There are cables on the tables with plugs of every shape,
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And what we save on elbow grease we spend on insulating tape.
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The fridge is quite prodigious at refridgerating grub,
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But every forty minutes it goes BUB-BUB-BUB-BUB-BUB-BUB-BUB!
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We're confused by all the fuses, the oven changes gear,
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It's never a cook, you really need a consulting engineer.
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There's a pinger on the ringer, we can't hear each other speak,
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Flanders:
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That thing on the shelf's been whipping itself for the best part of a week!
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Both:
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The pilot light is winking, we can't locate the switch,
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We've every sort of gadget but we don't know which is which.
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Flanders:
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With our new pneumatic icer...
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Swann:
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Self-actuator dicer...
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Flanders:
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The ideal-for-cooking ricer...
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Swann:
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And hard-boiled duck egg slicer...
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Flanders:
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With the universal grater...
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Swann:
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And a patent dessicator...
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Flanders:
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The vibrating dehydrator...
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Swann:
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And a plastic percolator...
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Both:
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The electric coffee grinder...
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The serrated bacon rinder...
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The expungable reminder...
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And the vermicelli winder...
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Oh, we've every sort of gadget,
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And it's rather hard to think.
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We still can't open sardine cans,
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And we still stop up the sink.
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We don't want a labour-saving kitchen,
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We much prefer the one we had before.
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Why did science have to pitch in to our nice old-fashioned kitchen?
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Please don't save us labour any more!
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